Hello my Peteaholics your Hiking Machine here and I just returned to a crazy overnight at Elkmont Campground. By crazy I mean I went "Crazy Pete" on a bear that terrorized the campers in my section of Elkmont. See when I got there it seemed a lot of uneasy in the H-Section of the campground. We were setting up camp and the host recognized me. It turns out he was a Peteaholic so he was glad I was there and gave me the lowdown on bear issues at the campground. The (US) Park Service was setting up a giant bear trap across from our campsite. While the Lummox got his panties in a twist I was fine. I talked with the Forest Service boys and told them to just shut the cage, I got this. The Campground Host told them who I was and they closed it.
To calm down the panicking Lummox I agreed to go and look at some stupid bugs (fireflies), but I had that bear on my mind. When we got back at least two groups, a girl across from us and an older couple, fled from fears of the bear. That couple left their tent and stuff! Well, the Lummox sat in terror and wanted to leave too, but I would have none of it. After I slapped some sense into the wuss and changed his diaper I then hunkered down in my tent. Well, during the night that damn bear was dumb enough to come into our camp. I charged out of my tent and opened a big can of whup-ass on that bear. He was a big boy, maybe 300 pounds, but he was no match for the Hiking Machine. Let's say I stomped a mudhole in him and walked it dry...don't mess with Crazy Pete!
Well, the next morning the Lummox crawled out of his tent to see where the beating took place. With no bear, I ate my carrots and we headed for a day of hiking to Cataract Falls and Fighting Creek Trail, and John Ownby Cabin. While it wasn't crushing miles I was a little spent opening that can for the bear and all. Well, with that I'm out...and I made that bear my BITCH!
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